These aren't meant to be phallic

This Santa Monica joint decided that plain old churros -- sugary doughnut-like rods deep fried, then dusted with cinnamon and sugar -- were too blah. So they introduced the customizable "xooro." Want your dough regular or chocolate? Filled with caramel, chocolate, or vanilla? Dipped and/or rolled in any number of toppings, including bacon. Knock yourself out, amigo.

Ellen's Secret

Ellen wants to wear a "ba-ra" on her "ba-rests". Three years olds can be both hilarious and frightening at the same time.

Meet me in the souk

I have a quick retreat with the curriculum planning team I'm part of. My boss wants us to meet at an Afghan-themed restaurant. This is the private dining room, set up for our meeting. Not quite the standard hotel conference center, eh?

Just like home

Up north, we have places that have a fake tropical theme. The most recent is a bar that opened up in the Mall of America, complete with (indoor) thatched roof. In SoCal, we have the equivalent. Here's a northern lodge style place, with fake snow (including icicles!) on the roof. Can't you feel the wind chill?

Meet the new boss

My cat Pirate was known as quite a terror in his day. I still have friends and family members who live in fear of him (or have heard the stories). He's not exactly mellow now, but he has accepted a new master.

Bounty

The produce in California is mind-blowing. Big, cheap, plentiful. This place had papayas bigger than my head.

Where's the Pensky file?

Here's my new office. I haven't seen one this barren since George Costanza started work.